
Caution: Elf crossing?
A woman whose car was subject to a drug-fueled attack by an elf-costumed hallucinating roleplayer in Portland, Oregon, last week described him as something “from the days of King Arthur.”
An ill-fated trip led Konrad Bass to believe that a red BMW was a shape-shifting demon of Morgoth, the first Dark Lord of Middle Earth, begging to be vanquished.
“He took a giant step and all of a sudden he was on the hood of my car,” said the driver, Sue Bales, of Portland, to KATU-TV. “We just kept thinking, he’ll go away.”
The attacker admitted to taking a dangerous cocktail of drugs at a park the prior night that sent him on a mission to protect America from evil, he said in a prior interview. The car apparently classified as evil because the driver was giving him a bad vibe, said Bass, who also goes by the name of McKane.
That’s not how it looked to Bales and her teenage daughter as they drove to school and spied the drugged up elf standing in the middle of the intersection.
The driver initially reported Bass to be a pirate to police when she saw him dressed “in black robes,” with a cross, “that was “dragging behind him,” she told the TV station.
“We didn’t know he had a weapon,” Bales said.
He walked all over the roof of their car and then impaled the hood with his three-foot long metal sword during his imagined battle of good vs. evil.
The melee brought traffic to a halt. Another driver finally stopped to help and got Bass off the car.
However, the man on a mission lunged for Bales’ tires and tried to puncture them. She tried to drive away, but she was afraid he would “fly through my windshield,” she said.

Bales escaped the attack with only an estimated $4,000 in damage to her car, but had a tough time describing to her insurance company what happened.
“They didn’t even really know what category to put that in. It’s so bizarre,” Bale said.
Her car is in a repair shop for two weeks to fix the punctures and dents to the hood.
Bass was arrested by Portland Police and cited for criminal mischief, but was released to a local hospital for a medical examination.
He explained his actions during a psychiatric evaluation and said he embodied a “rogue assassin” character named “Jaypar Prakkari” from the pages of a fantasy series he wrote.
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